Losing some people
This one might seem a bit strange, how can I be thankful to lose some people in my life?
Well to start with I don’t mean people who I know that have passed away, what I’m taking about is the people in my day-to-day life who I’ve drifted apart from or left all together. I’m not a big fan of the phrase ‘toxic people’ because it’s harsh and degrading of them, but there have been people in my life who haven’t exactly been good for me. I’ve always struggled with the friends who have left my life and I cling on to a broken friendship for longer than what’s healthy. It’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve matured enough to understand that good that have come out of certain individuals leaving.
I don’t belive for a second that cutting someone straight out of your life suddenly is a healthy approach to things. No matter the relationship you have with someone you used to deem a good friend, however complicated it is, there will always be good memories you’ve made with them. Am I happy that some people are out of my life? Yes, I am. It might have taken me a while to understand that I am better off without them and they were capping my growth as a person, but looking back I’m grateful for changing friendships and losing some who weren’t all that good for me, but I’m also thankful for the good times we had when I knew then.
I say spring is coming, but there was snow on my front garden yesterday morning so I’m not all that convinced at the moment. But in theory, spring is round the corner. There are lambs in the field (none in our house just yet) and the daffodils are out. I think we’re going to be getting a very confused spring this year.
I’m usually alright with winter, but this year my mood has plummeted in a way I’ve never experienced before. I’m not sure if it was the cold or dark evenings but it hasn’t been the most pleasant. I can say with confidence that I’m looking forward to the oncoming spring.
I learned to solve a 3×3 rubik cube in September last year and since that I’ve moved on to 2×2, 4×4 and 5×5 cubes (5×5 being my favorite to solve). I’m by no means the fastest at solving them but I enjoy them all the same.
It was a guys I met on team at New Wine who inspired me to learn how to solve one. I’d never actually seen anyone do it in person so I didn’t really belive it could be done. Once I’d seen him do it I believed I could and a few YouTube tutorials later I solved my first cube.
What I never expected was them to help me with anxiety.
When I’m anxious I find it very hard to ground myself, thoughts fly around too quickly and if I don’t keep on top of it it will escalate pretty quickly. What we found was that solving a cube allowed a certain amount of predictability back into my life when I was having a flap. I was learning algorithms and found the structure to be very helpful. It also allowed me to focus compleatley on one thing and zone out to everything else. It’s very rare you will see me out and about and not have a rubik cube in my bag.
Pretty cheesy I know, but I am grateful for my mistakes.
At the time I mess up it might not feel all that great, but over time through reflection I learn a lot from them. Sure, sometimes it takes a fair few screw ups for me to learn anything but even so, I am thankful for them.
Learning how to drive
I can’t say I enjoy learning how to drive, I find it very stressful and it’s a wonder how I haven’t had a panic attack mid lesson yet. But despite my nervousness to being on the road, the opportunity to learn how to drive is so important.
Where I live there is only one bus route that goes through my village. It’s expensive, only comes through once an hour and is never on time (not to mention that the majority of the drivers are very unpleasant to you). The bus works for getting to work and back but getting anywhere else is a bit of a task.
Learning how to drive is a step to getting my independence and growing that little further into adulthood. Not everyone has the opportunity to learn and not everyone can afford it either. So the fact that I have a job to fund it and I hae the opertunity to learn are two factors I’m very grateful for.
How about you guys, what’s 3 things you’re grateful for this week?